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Mary O’Conor My girlfriend's husband died very tragically four years ago.One year later in her mid-20s, she had a liaison with her then boss, resulting in her becoming pregnant. Mary O’Conor My partner is the widowed father of two very young boys.But surely you realise that the other person — trapped in your holding pattern, for better or worse — believes that they’re the ones at fault? This taps into people’s worst fears of abandonment.Ultimately, it will make them a worse partner in the long run, because the poor schmuck that comes after you is going to have to bore his sorry way through more layers of hostility, issues and self-protection.You’ll know pretty much that you won’t see him again, and that’s fine. Say what you will, but tradition still weighs down on us heavily in Ireland. But we’re only a couple of generations away from courting at the ballroom and marrying the first man to lay a hand on us.

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Done ostensibly to keep the other party interested, breadcrumbers keep the embers alight with random flirtatious texts, and the odd Facebook like, before receding back into obscurity for another while.His wife died after a long battle with breast cancer two-and-a-half years ago.We met five months later and very slowly began dating. Some of us say we do so as not to seem clingy, or be written off as a possessive psycho. The problem with this new world order is that we’ve forgotten to treat everyone like a living, breathing human being. And we are absolutely in over our head with the options. Take it from me, you’ll live to rue the day you ever went with limitless options at the boyfriend buffet, and giving it a shot with someone you may or may not have feelings for.Even several years after I’ve gone on dates with men, I still get the odd text or email from them.

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